By Anthony Sandstrom
Movie reviewer for USC Today
Pueblo, Colorado

I've realized I'm just a big fat hypocrite. When Star Wars came out this summer, I mocked all those guys who camped out in front of theaters to get tickets, and dressed up like Yoda or whatever when they saw it. It was all very funny to me, because most of these guys were my friends from high school.

But with the opening of Kevin Smith's "Dogma," starring Ben Affleck and Matt Damon among others, I almost wanted to dress up like popular Kevin Smith movie characters Jay or Silent Bob and yell the catch phrase "snoochie boochies" to my fellow movie patrons. Lately, for the first time in my life I had some recurring dreams, and it's about my friends and I going to see "Dogma" on opening night. I finally have some recurring dreams, and I don't have cool sex dreams that resemble late night Cinemax movies, I let my nerdiness prevail and I have them about "Dogma." I think this explains why I don't have a girlfriend.

But enough about my personal problems, and more about "Dogma."

"Dogma" is the story about two renegade angels named Bartleby and Loki (Affleck and Damon) who were banished from heaven and were sent to live an eternity in the most boring place on earth, Wisconsin. Using the loophole of plenary indulgence that clears all their sins, they will get back into heaven and all is forgiven. If they accomplish this, though, this will prove God to be fallible and thus will reverse all existence.

A cast of characters are on a mission to stop them, including a black thirteenth apostle named Rufus who was left out of the Bible for political reasons (Chris Rock), a muse turned stripper who failed to turn her endless stream of ideas into notoriety on Earth (Salma Hayek), and an abortion clinic worker named Bethany who turns out to be the great grandniece of Jesus Christ (Linda Fiorentino). And somehow, Kevin Smith mainstays Jay and Silent Bob are on hand as helpful prophets whose only real goal in this fiasco is to have sex with Bethany should the apocalypse seem imminent.

One thing that jumps out in "Dogma" is Ben Affleck's performance as the angel Bartleby. He portrays the emotional twists and turns his character goes through with while slowly showing his obsession and insanity surrounding he and Loki's quest. Affleck may even get an Oscar nomination for his performance.

But Kevin Smith is the man who deserves the most kudos for "Dogma." His script is by far the best of his career, blending in an original, thoughtful story with his trademark love for dirty jokes and the f-word.

I held "Dogma" on such a pedestal that unless it was an utterly awesome movie it wouldn't live up to my expectations. Well, "Dogma" went above and beyond the call of duty, and turns out to be even better than Kevin Smith's other cult classics, "Clerks" and "Chasing Amy".

Another great thing about "Dogma" is what it produces after the movie is over. The viewer almost seems obligated to begin a religious debate with somebody immediately after the film is over. I must say, getting an agnostic man like myself to get entrenched in a religious debate is something impressive.

"Dogma" has also been criticized by Catholic groups from all over the land as being blasphemous and insulting to Catholics. The film portrays such things as God being a woman, Jesus being black, the Virgin Mary and Joseph having sex, and these images have Catholics in an uproar.

But "Dogma" is an intelligent debate about faith that merely questions Catholic doctrines and doesn't full out insult them. If anything, "Dogma" promotes faith and God more than any movie has in recent years, and religious types should embrace this fact, not bash it.

Still, even in our boring Colorado town, protestors came out to the Tinseltown Movie Theater to speak out against the film,

After leaving the theater and passing our placard brandishing friends, I stuck my head out of my car window and let my feelings be known about "Dogma."

"Watch the movie, then we'll talk!" I said. "'Dogma' rules! Snoochie boochies!"