We warn ya, read on ONLY if you have seen the film or really wanna spoil some stuff for yourself! Otherwise, skip to the next headline! Seriously! Turn back now! If you MUST KNOW, swipe your mouse to highlight the blank area ahead:

ZACK AND MIRI MAKE A PORNO

(0:08) Elizabeth Banks is in the back room of a coffee shop trying on outfits. She strips down to her bra and panties while two kids record her with a cell phone. We see a shot of her in her bra on the cell phone while trying on a yellow outfit. Then there’s another non-phone shot of her in her bra again as she tries on another.

(0:23) We see Elizabeth Banks again on the cell phone in her bra and panties.

(0:28) Elizabeth Banks is in a sexy outfit licking a beer bottle as Seth Rogen has the inspiration for making the porno.

(0:37) A girl auditioning for the porno takes off her outfit for Craig Robinson and we see her breasts and bush.

(0:38) We see the butt and breasts of various strippers telling Rogen and Banks what they won’t do in a porno.

(0:39) Traci Lords auditions and much of her bra is showing out of her shirt.

(0:44) During a montage of all the actors dressed up for the porn parody “Star Whores”, we see Katie Morgan in a black bra-and-panties Darth Vader costume, Traci Lords in a sexy C-3PO outfit and Elizabeth Banks as Princess “Lay-Her” in the familiar sheer white outfit and we can see her bra and panties underneath.

(0:53) Katie Morgan is behind the coffee counter with her breasts exposed. When she hops on the counter we see her panties underneath her apron. Jason Mewes begins screwing her on top and then from behind. A customer comes in and interrupts them and Mewes goes right back to screwing Morgan.

(0:57) Traci Lords is in her bra giving it to a guy from behind.

(1:03) Elizabeth Banks is filming her porno scene. Her shirt is partially open, revealing her bra.

(1:34) Traci Lords and Katie Morgan are in lingerie during a Zack & Miri promotional video.

And there ya go. Thanks to our scooper and the mighty Mr. Skin for the report.

Watch for more promotional stuff like this as October rolls in, and we start the 31 day countdown to biggest View Askew flick yet!

The October 8th reschedule date has been confirmed. If you want to attend on that date, hang onto your original tickets, they will still get you in just as they would have before. Doors open at 7:00 PM with an 8:00 PM start to the show. Expect Kev to put on a great one due to the delay.

Can’t make the show due to the new date and need a refund? Call the Winspear Centre Box Office at 780-425-1414. You can also return your tickets in person. This offer is good up until October 4th, so act fast (this week!). Due to the change, a few tickets are now open for purchase, so if you wanna go, you still have time. Show up at the Winspear Centre or give them a call and they’ll hook ya up with some seats.

The Calary show, scheduled for tomorrow, the 30th, will still go on as planned.

Hope that clears it up, Canada. Enjoy the upcoming events.

“…having broken free of the desire to do something different than his small little potty mouthed Jersey films, he instead embraced his place in the environs of the film scene and created the single best piece of film he’s turned out since Chasing Amy. Make no mistake, Zack and Miri Make a Porno is every bit Kevin Smith as you’d expect. There are all manner of sex and scat jokes – even the occasional gross out bit. Pop culture references drop out of the mouths of his cast almost as often as expletives. And there are appearances by a number of old favorites, including the ever present Jason Mewes. And yet, by freeing himself of trying to be something that he is not, he has actually managed to elevate the material to make what on the surface appears to be one of the most juvenile attempts at humor this year into something deep, heartfelt and positively adorable.”

Check out the entire non-spoiler review over at Ain’t It Cool News.

Ron’s also got fresh stock of those coveted Zombies jerseys, stickers, and more. Stop into Stash West, the coolest comic book and swag store inside the coolest DVD and media store in all the land. If you’re local make it your only stop for all your media needs.

Not in the area? Hit up the Secret Stash website for all the latest goodies. In addition to the stuff we mentioned above, they’re also taking pre-orders for SIGNNED “Threevening” DVDs, signed “Zack And Miri Make a Porno” theatrical posters, and more. We want this stuff bad, so we’re sure that you do as well. Look for some fantastic sales there AND inside Laser Blazer as well. Remember, Christmas is just around the corner. Happy shopping.

Popgrind caught wind of the news and erroneously reported that MGM wanted to drop the movie and all association with it, sort of a one-way yanking. Very one sided and just not true. Plus, they said we’re BLOGGING it here. Bloggers? Us? Nah! How dare they. We’re an official news site, darn it!

Clearing this up, The Business Sheet runs a piece titled “Did Harvey Weinstein Order A Hit On MGM’s Logo?”, citing our quote along with a humorous photo of Harvey on the phone (calling in the “hit”, we guess). Funny. They have since updated their story with a clarification though, which we’ll run here:

UPDATE: According to an MGM spokesman, who just called us, the studio’s distribution deal with the Weinstein Company will expire at the end of 2008. So, as part of the process of winding down the deal, MGM took all remaining Weinstein Company titles for the year off of their release schedule, including Zack and Miri, and returned the films to Harvey’s headquarters. This move is consistent with MGM’s effort to re-establish itself as a full-fledged studio that produces and distributes its own films.

Other sites are simply picking up news of the split today. Variety (via Mania) runs the piece once again citing “Zack And Miri” along with another flick we’re looking forward to, “The Road”. If nothing else, this gives us even MORE press and continues to fulfill the prophecy that every View Askew release comes with some sort of controversial news story sometime before it hits theaters.

Hopefully this sets everything straight and explains the departure of the two companies. We of course speak for all when we wish MGM well, and of course look forward to The Weinstein Co’s great success when “Zack And Miri” storm the box office next month.

On the “Watchmen” front, Kevin reveals that the entire Dr. Manhattan book was translated perfectly and fully intact (panel for panel!), and that the film features “one big change and two small changes”. Also, more kudos for Jackie Earl Haley as Rorschach, in a role that we think will steal the show.

On the “Zack And Miri” front, it’s familiar territory for our regular readers, with a few words on the NC-17, Rogen’s casting, and the nudity. This one’s worth a read, so click and enjoy, and then shed a tear when you realize it’s still a month ’til “Zack and Miri”, and over half a year until “Watchmen”!