If you didn’t already know, this series is tremendous. Clerks: The Animated Series tackles a lot of the same topics as in the movies but thanks to the additional freedom that animation grants, the series shines like a freaking diamond. The humor found here is not fully like in the movie, where vulgarity and cruelness plays a big part. In the series, the jokes are expanded into unique ideas that were absolutely made for television. Jokes, references, and pop culture hysteria are quickly rattled off one after another in a hilarious string of continuance. Not to mention the fantastic jabs they take against popular sitcom devices: fake sitcom introductions (“this show was drawn in front of a live studio audience”), narrative recap devices (“previously on Clerks – beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep”), infamous television staples (such as the clip show episode being only the second episode of the series) movie spoofs (Schindler’s List + Flintstones = Flintstone’s List), and other popular culture figures.

SMODCAST #103: Amazing Grace

In which a Mother learns the benefits of going green.

Don’t miss it, available immediately now exclusively at www.smodcast.com via downloadable and streaming audio formats.

The hourlong “Blues,” from Clooney and Grant Heslov’s Smokehouse Pictures and Warner Horizon, centers on Dwight Hendricks (Lee), a Memphis police officer who lives with his mother (Celia Weston) and moonlights as a musician.

The pilot, written by Liz Garcia and Joshua Harto and directed by Clark Johnson, co-starred Alfre Woodard, Abraham Benrubi and DJ Qualls. Clooney, Heslov, Garcia and Johnson are executive producers, with Henry Bronchtein and Abby Wolf-Weiss co-executive producing and Harto producing.

Becky Scott

Actress/Film: Rosario Dawson, Clerks II (2006)

Cheating On/With: As manager of a local fast food outlet, she’s relatively footloose; employee Dante Hicks (Brian O’Halloran) on the other hand, with whom she’s apparently been dirtying up the diner tables, really isn’t.

Alright, We Forgive You: Despite being pregnant as a result of their tryst, she tries to let Dante pursue his new life of marital mediocrity in Florida.

And, since every bloke must at some point face the abject humiliation of learning to dance, it might as well happen like [caution: swears] this.

Catch ya next time! Thanks for checking in with News Askew today.

One episode down, Smith developed an unnatural emotional connection to Snooki, who on her first night in the house stripped down to her bra and thong, got in the hot tub with all four male housemates and tried to make out with each of them. Smith figured that he would have hooked up with Snooki and then tried to save her. “I’d date Snooki, and she’d cheat on me repeatedly. ‘Snooki, I’m trying to help.’ ‘I don’t need your help, you fat canker-blossom!’ ” I have no doubt that by now Smith has called his agent about meeting Snooki.

Time’s got the full article. — Be sure to click over.

Let’s take a look back at the last 12 months, shall we? 2009: The Year In Askew, part one, is straight ahead.

January 2009

2009 kicked off in an uncharacteristically quiet, low key way. Kevin’s normally regular web presence continued to remain at low-key levels. Interviews and promotions for his latest comic, “Batman: Cacophony”, which he wrote, continued — longtime friend and fan favorite Walt Flanagan drew the book. However, it was obvious that this was a much more subdued press push than the past. We’d soon know why. Meanwhile, as the shrinking home video window continued, a February release date was already announced for “Porno”, which had just hit theaters at the end of October. The Bluray release would be day and date with the DVD, a first for a View Askew flick. Despite a lower than expected box office bow, the film would wind up on many “Best of 2008″ lists which were revealed this month.

While Kevin wasn’t posting to the web and conducting as many regular interviews, the great SModcast would not be stopped. Episode #71 hit the webs in early January. Before the year was out, Kevin and Scott would hit a significant SMod milestone. By the end of the month, the guys would have recorded 3 more episodes for the web.

As the month continued, details began to surface for the “Zack and Miri” discs. Thankfully, View Askew would not let us down once again as far as extras go — The package would include a brand new documentary, a pile of deleted scenes, bloopers, and lots more. As Kevin and Scott had discussed the film at length on SModcast, for the first time, a View Askew DVD would not include an audio commentary track (though the extras would more than make up for the lack of one). Kevin made a rare post to explain his feelings on the commentary and how SModcast was an even better replacement. Our extensive review of the film details the greatness of the discs.



His first live appearance of the year took place in Hartford, laying groundwork for what would be the most significant year for Kevin’s stage show yet. Meanwhile, Smith made plans for a major event in Toronto for early February…

February 2009

February 2009 arrived with rave reviews for the “Zack and Miri Make a Porno” DVD. Critics and fans alike praised the film and the disc’s abundance of extras, some who had unfortunately discovered the film for the first time in their homes. Canadians were gifted with versions of the disc that featured exclusive “scratch and sniff” packaging.



While it had now been over 2 years since the last Vulgarthon film festival, Toronto celebrated their own mini-film fest of sorts in early February. With Kevin coming to town for a historic two-night appearance at the beloved Roy Thompson Hall, where every one of his gigs continually sells out, the Bloor Cinema tacked on a 3-night film festival following the appearances. Kevin appeared live for a Q&A session following each of the films, creating Canada’s own mini-Vulgarthon — a bright spot among their normally brutally cold winter. Audience reports raved that the appearances were among the best ever, with Jason Mewes making a rare onstage appearance alongside Kevin for most of the second night.

Kevin capped February with more live shows in New York and Ohio. At these shows, rumors began to circle on what his next project would be. Would it be “Red State”? “Ranger Danger”? Something new? It seemed that anything was possible, though Kevin’s immediate concern was getting out in front of the public, as his love for being onstage continued to blossom, as fans continued to pack seats to watch Kevin spend a few hours taking questions and entertaining crowds with one of the best impromptu shows in the land….A theme that would continue throughout the year. Until…

March 2009

In the most exciting, unexpected announcement of the year, March 2009 kicked off with a bombshell — Kevin had become a director for hire. But not just for any studio, and not just for any movie. Warner Brothers pictures signed Kevin to direct a major motion picture starring Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan, titled “A Couple of Dicks”. The film was one of the great unpublished screenplays of 2008, so to see this script land in Kevin’s lap was a dialogue-lover’s dream. Full of raunchy, hilarious text, the script was the perfect fit for Kevin’s sensibilities. It would also mark the first time that Kevin would direct a feature film that was not from his own script. News agencies across the web picked up the news, and it appeared that we now had our main project/theme for 2009. This would be the year of “A Couple of Dicks”.

Within mere days of the announcement, rumors already started to circle that the title may change, to the more tame “A Couple of Cops”.

In mid-March, “Reaper”, a show with a pedigree similar to “Dicks” (Kevin directed, but did not write, the pilot episode), returned to the CW airwaves for a second season. While building on its mythology and critical acclaim, the program would not survive past its second-season finale.

In comic news, artist Walt Flanagan revealed that he and Kevin were working on a yet-to-be-titled follow-up project to the highly successful “Batman: Cacophony”. Before the year was out, we’d not only know its identity, but have quite a few issues on shelves to enjoy. Astute listeners to SModcast soon suggested that it had slipped that a “Batman” series was being written after the first series was already in the can, prompting us to speculate correctly that the next series would once again feature the caped crusader.

As March “marched” on, Kevin’s signing to direct “A Couple of Dicks” continued to generate quite a bit of press and speculation. In the middle of the month, though, another film briefly stole the spotlight — After a great deal of anticipation due to his praise of an early cut of the film, the world finally got to see “Watchmen”, one of the greatest graphic novels of all time, come to life on the big screen. And as one highly-anticipated geek movie debuted, one of the most beloved geek series of recent memory concluded — Sci Fi aired the final two hours of the incredible “Battlestar Galactica”, a show beloved to Kevin (who had the pleasure of making a set visit before everything was struck and boxed for good).

Around this time, when Kevin was in a particularly introspective mood, journalist Lee Stranhan scheduled what would become one of the most amazing sit-down interviews of his entire career. The interview, which was conducted earlier in the month, would feature the director discussing all aspects of his life and career in an even more open and honest way than ever before (a feat many thought not even possible for the already public Smith).

Since “Clerks”, hockey had always played a role in the films of View Askew. But in late March, Kevin laid groundwork to take his love of the game to a whole new level. After being touched by the story of Wayne Gretzky and his father Walter, Kevin mounted efforts to bring himself, fans, and friends to Brantford, Ontario for June’s Walter Gretzky Street Hockey Invitational. During an appearance in Vancouver, he also mentioned, for the first time, that he had an interest in making a hockey-themed film in the future.

By the end of March, SModcast, still rolling strong, had celebrated its 81st episode of free entertainment.

April 2009

It would become a buzzword on many reporter’s lists of the best of 2009. Twitter. Tweeting. While the service had been active for a few years prior to 2009, it wasn’t until this year that the mainstream embraced this service, burgeoned by the sudden celebrity love for the technology. By eliminating publicists, for the first time, celebs could use twitter as a direct line to their fans. By contrast, this was a practice that Kevin had adopted from early in his career with ViewAskew.com. Still, always being in the forefront of technology, Smith saw Twitter as yet another viable communication vehicle. Frequent use of the service started in early April, when Kevin trekked back to the east coast, where he would live for many months as production on “A Couple of Dicks” took place. The film would shoot in and around New York City, mostly on location.

Not ones to shy away from technology, News Askew also began tweeting our headlines and stories as well, giving readers yet another way to keep up with the latest.

Following a pre-production trip into NYC, Kevin jetted to Vail, Colorado, where he was presented with the Renegade Award at the Vail Film Festival, celebrating his entire body of work.

The good news continued, as Kevin made a weeklong visual clue game of one of the biggest announcements of the year: He would bring his beloved Q&A act to the stage of New York City’s prestigious Carnegie Hall in mid-June. To sweeten the announcement, it was also revealed that a new book would arrive in the Fall: “Shooting the Shit with Kevin Smith” would collect some of the best moments of SModcast in print form.

Hockey came back in a big way in April, when Kevin revealed he would be writing a new blog for the NHL to highlight the experience of watching the Devils in the playoffs. He’d also purchased a luxury box at Prudential’s center city Newark arena, The Rock, where he would entertain family and friends and introduce newcomers to the great game of ice hockey, with his beloved Jersey team.

May 2009

With the popularity of SModcast continuing on iTunes and Quick Stop Entertainment, Kevin and Scott decided to try an experiment – It was announced that the first LIVE SModcast would be held next month in Canada, the same weekend that the crew would be heading north for the Gretzky hockey tournament. Dubbed “Stocky Night in Canada”, the limited event would sell out in record time.

We also had a new date to add to calendars – Before film had started to roll on the movie, we had a tentative release date for “A Couple of Dicks” – February 26, 2010. Those brothers Warner sure don’t mess around.



By the middle of the month, Entertainment Weekly announced another newsworthy release — Kevin and Walt would indeed return with that speculated “Batman” series. This one, titled “The Widening Gyre” was already half completed with issue 1 set to debut in August. In addition to this expected news, it was also revealed that Kevin’s “Green Hornet” script ideas would see the light of day in comic form. A new miniseries would be on the way following the completion of “Gyre”.

Movie Trailers – Movies Blog

The month of big announcements continued when on May 14th, Kevin revealed to MTV that he wasn’t kidding around when he mentioned that hockey-themed movie idea in March. “Hit Somebody” would be the title of this one, based on a Warren Zevon song penned by author Mitch Albom. Following the announcement, quite a bit of articles on and by Kevin tied into the sport. It was apparent that hockey was on the brain, and in a very big way.

Followed by all the good news in May, a spot of bad news arrived on the 19th via Twitter – Star Ethan Suplee revealed that he and longtime-Askewer Jason Lee’s hilarious sitcom “My Name is Earl” had been cancelled by NBC. A glimmer of hope via a save by network TBS would come briefly before the official June cancellation announcement.

With filming getting close to rolling, May capped off with the announcement of two more cast members for “Dicks”: Seann William Scott and Adam Brody. By the end of May, the cast would have gathered for the first full read-through of the script.

June 2009



Production might have been starting on “A Couple of Dicks” as of June 2nd, but Kevin wasn’t going back to work behind the cameras without a gift to the fans — He and Scott presented SModcast #87 on the eve of the shoot. Due to the public nature of the on-location summer in New York City set, fans were quick to locate the cast and crew and snapped the first of what would be many looks at Willis, Morgan, and Smith in action.

Though filming had begun, Kevin wasn’t about to let that stop his hockey-themed weekend plans in Canada. Starting on June 6th, he and a large crew of friends and fans took to Brantford, Ontario for the Wayne Gretzky Hockey Tournament and the first live SModcast. The View Askew all-star team name? Puck U.



Then, on Saturday, the first ever live SModcast found Smith and Mosier on stage before a sold-out crowd of 1,100 where history was made.



On June 17th, we arrived at one of the biggest events of the year, and one of the most significant in Kevin’s life — Kevin took the stage to a sold out crowd in Carnegie Hall. Some of the world’s greatest performers have stepped onto that stage, and Kevin had now joined the ranks of a very elite few — Especially from the point of view that this was a one man show, where he’d single-handedly entertain the packed house for almost three full hours. News Askew was fortunate enough to witness this magical and historic event – One of Kevin’s finest performances of all-time.

While the first half of the year would have already celebrated a fairly busy, public schedule for Kevin as far as events, the next six months would set records, as Kevin announced a very aggressive Fall Tour schedule which would take him across the United States, to new cities, and abroad.

Finally, as June came to a close, more confirmed casting reports for “A Couple of Dicks” that built on an already impressive cast: Michele Trachtenberg, Kevin Pollak, and the great Jason Lee were all confirmed for supporting or cameo roles.

Join us later this week as we wrap it up, and cover the last 6 months of 2009. See you then.

“December right now is wide open, and that’s when I’m going to sit down and start writing and I’ve got pages and pages of notes, I already wrote the last 10 pages of the script which is weird, I went to the end and started, but it’s ready … it’s just fucking poised to go,” Smith told us in September.

Smith was upfront with the financial uncertainty that would come with bringing “The Hockey Song” to the big screen.

“I don’t know if anybody’s going to want to do the hockey movie, because name one hockey movie that people made money off of in its theatrical release; it’s tough,” he said. “Look, the sport doesn’t have a massive following, how the fuck is a film about the sport also going to have a massive following? So, you go in with tailored expectations, you know you’re kind of dealing to a very specific audience, dealing with a specific audience, so you know, we’ll probably make it on the inexpensive side, I can’t imagine spending more than $25 million on a movie like that.”

However, Smith is convinced of the power of his project. “When all is said and done, when that movie’s done, I guarantee you it’s gonna impact, it’s gonna hit people, even if you don’t like hockey it’s gonna hit you in a very personal place,” he said. “The movie I see in my head, and more than that the movie I feel in my heart, oh God, it’s gonna be good.”

We’re betting Kevin’s going to be surprised to find cast lining up for “Hit Somebody” — Going out on a limb here to predict the biggest and best ensemble yet.

“I don’t know if there’ll be any more movies. I did two with Kevin Smith, Dogma in ‘99 and Jersey Girl in ‘04, where he wrote me a great part as Ben Affleck’s dad. I like working with Kevin: there’s alot of great counterpunching and the catholic thing is a strong bond. Acting is fun to do, a worthy fraternity and a great tradition to have had a tiny speck of a part of.”

Very brief, but you definitely get the impression that Carlin enjoyed his time in front of the camera while working with Kevin. Great book also, well worth checking out if you’d like some new winter reading material.

“…After Zack & Miri I was like ‘oh my god, Zack & Miri didn’t do well’. And then I thought it was a mid-life crisis. But then a mid-life crisis is generally for people who have not achieved their hopes and dreams.

I was so young and my life was in front of me and what am I doing wasting my time. I had goal and I achieved it when I was like 23. And all of a sudden people were like okay, in order to keep yourself entertained, create new fucking goals, dude! And I didn’t create big ones for myself. I know me, I create little challenges! I want to step over things, I don’t want to climb mountains!

So I set myself little challenges, and I accomplished them, and felt very accomplished and whatnot. But then you get to that point, man, where it’s just like I’ve been doing it a bunch, it’s now what I do for a living, so I can’t just walk away from it. Particularly because I enjoy it. I enjoy doing it for a living and the lifestyle it affords. I like that my job is to make pretend, and somebody pays me. And I’m like I can’t give that up, that’s awesome.

But the mid-life thing for me, it was like everything I ever wanted came true. So I feel like it wasn’t mid-life, maybe it is what Stephen Fry is talking about, where it’s like wow, it’s been 15-16 years straight of a really successful run. And I’m not ambitious enough. It’s not like I’ve done it all. I’m not Alexander, and I’ve reached the end of the world and there’s nothing left to conquer. But, I mean, for me, I’m just I can’t retread the same territory anymore, because number one, I can’t do it, and number two, it’s just like leave it alone, it speaks for itself.

So I reach a point now where it’s like well, now I’ve got to find a different thing that fuels me as an artist, or something I want to express without expressing it the way I’ve expressed it through my characters for all these years.

Thing was with Clerks, that was a way in, that was a way to start a conversation with the world at large. It wasn’t so much a film as an ice breaker. It was like ‘hi, I’m Kevin Smith and I would like to talk to you for the next 30 years, 40 years. However long you want to speak to me’ or something like that.

Now with the SModcast, with the Q&As, with Twitter, any number of other things, I could exercise and I can reach out and touch and get instant gratification. I can throw out something funny, ‘hey, that’s funny’, ‘thank you very much’. Everything really kind of on a much quicker basis. Compact. You don’t have to spend a year and a half of your life building it and constructing it.

Because that’s what the movies are. You get an idea and then it takes a year and a half to hear a response when all’s said and done. With SModcast, we put it up that night, we hear from people that’s funny, thumbs up, and there it is. So I can do those things or talk about weird things that I would use to fuse into the flicks in any of those formats, and I’m like ‘alright, let me figure out what I want to do with film for the next few years’.

I know it ain’t going to be what I do for the rest of my life, because apparently View Askew wasn’t what I was going to do for the rest of my life. So I figure if that’s one chapter, maybe this is chapter two, or maybe it’s the end of the book. Who knows what’s in the cards?

But I feel like I’m closing View Askew for the time being, and now I’m opening a new book and I’ll see for a while if I can be this filmmaker where I don’t write everything that I direct, or create everything that I direct.

Like in the case of the hockey movie [that Smith is currently working on], Hit Somebody. It’s based on a Warren Zevon song that Mitch Albom wrote the lyrics for. So in that instance, that’s almost in my world that Story By credit goes to somebody else, and I would get Screenplay credit. That’s where the passion is. The story or that character is something I identity with, and I can infuse it with my own experience. It’s not strictly my story. But essentially it is. “

SModcast 99: The Great One

No, not Him. Her.

Exclusively for you at Quick Stop Entertainment. Have we mentioned lately this is still totally FREE!?!? Easily some of the best stuff on the internet and it doesn’t cost you a cent. Thanks, guys. All hail SModcast. If you see an ad on QSE, support the product, buy it — It helps keep the SMod alive!

1. Clerks: The Animated Series (ABC): During Super Bowl XXXIV, ABC aired a teaser for the animated adaptation of Kevin Smith’s black and white ode to slackerdom, giving viewers a brief glimpse at Dante, Randal, Jay, and Silent Bob, then offering a vague assurance about when the series would premiere. (”Coming this spring. Summer. Whatever.”) The total lack of idea about what to expect from “Clerks: The Animated Series” left fans nervous, but the mere fact that the network was offering some promotion for the show during the Super Bowl surely implied that they were 100% behind the series. Right?

Not even fucking close. The show finally premiered on May 31, 2000, and it was canceled one episode later. You can blame many things for its abrupt demise, but near the top of the list would have to be the fact that ABC decided to kick off the show’s run with its fourth episode, then air the second episode. It wouldn’t have been such a big deal if the entire plot of the second episode hadn’t revolved around the guys getting locked in the freezer of the Quick-Stop and, while waiting for someone to rescue them, reminiscing about the things that had happened to them in the actual first episode; since no one had actually seen that episode yet, the entire joke fell flat.

“Clerks: The Animated Series” may not have thrilled fans of the original movie, given that it had to be tempered to broadcast network standards (Jay and Silent were now fireworks dealers), but if you check out the six episodes of the series that were produced and subsequently released onto DVD, you’ll see a show that loved poking fun at TV and movie cliches at every turn. Bonus: the show’s resident villain, evil billionaire Leonardo Leonardo, was voiced by Alec Baldwin, offering a performance in which you can hear many echoes of Jack Donaghy from “30 Rock.”

Good god, do we miss that series and lament the fact that we got such a limited number. Way, way ahead of its time.

The answer was apparent Friday night at the Warfield Theatre in San Francisco, where the event was like a fantasy camp – except instead of paying $15,000 to play basketball with Michael Jordan or hockey with Wayne Gretzky, fans paid closer to $50 to hang out with Smith for a few hours. Part behind-the-scenes Hollywood tell-all, part stand-up comedy and part Catholic confession, Smith combined storytelling, the Socratic method and moments that bordered on motivational speaking to entertain a grateful crowd.

Smith has had about 50 years worth of career in the past 15 years, starting with “Clerks,” a 1994 art-house hit that Smith made for $27,000. He writes comics, acts sporadically and practically invented the modern bromantic comedy, where the male-female romance takes a back seat to the platonic man love between heterosexual leads. As critics started to say he was irrelevant – director Judd Apatow arguably played Oprah to Smith’s Phil Donahue – Smith connected with his fans more than ever on the Internet. Among his recent experiments: an online marathon where he answered questions on Twitter for 24 hours straight.

The hard-core fans greeted Smith like a hero as he walked on stage in ankle-length jeans shorts (and later, a bathrobe), launching into a 10-minute story about a test screening of the critically panned “Jersey Girl” in San Francisco. After that, he answered questions from the audience for three hours straight, displaying the rare combination of politeness and raunchiness, with a lack of hubris that made him likable even when describing his own excrement in detail. It was a night of many tangents and a few slow parts, but it was always comfortable.

Check out the entire article over at their official site. Then, check the upcoming appearances list over there on your right and get yourself booked for Kevin’s next show in your town.

Kevin Smith

Past Form: Smith’s had one or two minor hosting gigs in the past, but where he’s really worked is in his live Q&As, where he takes questions from the audience. Rambling and hilarious, he has to be experienced to be believed.

Show Highlights: Like Parker and Stone, he’d need a swear button, but he could bring on some more famous friends – like Ben Affleck – to help out with the wattage of the night.

It would be the first ever Oscars where the host opens the event with a monologue entirely dedicated to A) anal fissures and B) anal sex with his wife. Wait… Didn’t David Letterman do that already?

Sample Speech: “That’s why you’ll never see my name next to Scorsese, Woody Allen, and Spike Lee. Scorsese speaks a lot at NYU, and I’m damn skippy no one’s ever been like, ‘I’ll suck your d**k for five bucks!’”

Regarding the news, Kevin tweets: “It’s like hearing the house you grew up in has burned to the ground. I’ve now watched Miramax die twice. *sigh*”

10. Stinky BJ – MALLRATS

The actual awkwardness of this blow-job is left to our imagination as Brodie (Jason Lee) tells TS (Jeremy London) his girlfriend dumped him because he farted while she was going down on him. The epitome of dick & fart jokes

13. CLERKS (1994)


Kevin Smith’s debut, about a day in the life of two service-industry suburbanites, was made for $27,575. It’s hard to tell where all that money went, but the cruddy lensing and muddy sound actually enhance the experience. This spitball of nonstop scatology and pop-cult obsessiveness — what are the ethical implications of killing independent contractors aboard the Death Star? — feels like a bootleg copy of an adolescent mind. SIGNATURE LINE ”I’m not even supposed to be here today.”

Earlier today, I heard you talking about how you were inspired by the movie Clerks. I thought that was somewhat surprising.

MW: I was inspired because there’s always been this story that the machinery of filmmaking was going to make its way down to the population. And I was inspired by the fact that this guy made a movie in his basement, and it was a complete movie, and it was entertaining, and he pulled it off. My wife and I went to Paris on the world’s cheapest vacation — $319 airfare, we stayed in someone else’s apartment — and all I remember is we went to the Pompidou Centre and I was like, “Clerks is playing here. That’s incredible!”

I found that very inspiring that, you know what? We all have these aspirations, and … just to see that that guy got off his a– and made that movie, I was blown away.

Kevin Smith is actually a massive Mad Men fan.

MW: Well, that’s cool!

The other day he sent me a question to ask you …


MW: Wow. Don will never try to fellate himself. (Everyone laughs)

Bummer. I never even heard about this. I love Kevin Smith. Might be time for me to find a new movie agent. One who doesn’t suck ass. That would have been amazing to be in Jay and Silent Bob… Huh…… Also, if you can let Kevin Smith know I would love him to stop up here to the web show. That would be rad. Also ask him if he knows any movie agents who are not money grubbing douche bags.

So, there ya go. Perhaps Kevin will find a use for Green in a future project. We think it’d be a good pairing, the guy’s got a fun, odd sense of humor that might be a good match for one of Kev’s scripts. Maybe he’ll even work him in “Hit Somebody”, with those whole Canadian thing going on. Never know.

Chasing Amy (1997)

The couple: Holden McNeil (Ben Affleck), a self-confident comic-book artist, and Alyssa Jones (Joey Lauren Adams), an alluring lesbian who falls for him.

Irreconcilable Differences: It turns out, however, that Holden isn’t the first man Alyssa has ever been with. Unable to process Alyssa’s sexual past, Holden goes from self-confident to self-righteous and tries to make her feel ashamed about it; Alyssa, quite rightly, refuses to apologize.

Chance of Survival: Nonexistent. Holden’s hang-ups eventually lead to the relationship’s demise. A year later, they’ve both clearly moved on.

26. Zack And Miri Make A Porno (2008)

Kevin Smith’s underrated 2008 romantic comedy Zack And Miri Make A Porno put a raunchy but sweet spin on the trusty “Let’s put on a show” template that fueled many a Judy Garland/Mickey Rooney musical (and breakdancesploitation cheapie). Only this time the show is a homemade Star Wars-themed porn movie and the plucky young upstarts a pair of down-and-out platonic best friends (Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks) who decide to make the beast with two backs onscreen as a way of getting out of debt. The lusty neophytes struggle to make a porn film with no budget, untested stars, and funky, makeshift locations like a coffee shop, but the trickiest variable aspiring pornographers Rogen and Banks face is their growing romantic attraction to one another.

The Film: Mallrats (1995)

The Line: “One time my cousin Walter got this cat stuck up his ass. True story. He bought it at our local mall, so the whole fiasco wound up on the news.

“It was embarrassing for my relatives and all, but next week, he did it again. Different cat, same results, complete with another trip to the emergency room.

“So, I run into him a week later in the mall and he’s buying another cat. And I says to him, ‘Jesus, Walt! What are you doing? You know you’re just gonna get this cat stuck up your ass too. Why don’t you knock it off?’

“And he said to me, ‘Brodie, how the hell else am I supposed to get the gerbil out?’ My cousin was a weird guy.