Six weeks ago today…I saw the human body put through hell. And for a woman whose belly rivaled mine at that time, look at Jen today and you’d never know she had a baby within the last year, let alone two months. Happy Birthday (sort of) Harley; congrats and a big fat kiss to Jennifer.

In other weight loss news, I’m heading into week two of the ol’ diet. Good Lord, I blew up. Why didn’t anyone tell me? By fall, I expect to look more like I did around Vulgarthon… just in time for another special screening…

Speaking of which, the new rumored release date is locked in at November 12th. Mark your calendars.

Saw Ben while out in LA. He’s looking well, but his presence caused my child to shriek incessantly for a half hour. Harley’s reaction - fandom or menance? You decide.

Also saw Rock the other day for a Premiere piece we did (photos and an interview) which should be out in their Vanguard issue (Oct/Nov). He’s doing well also, and eager to promote the flick - which I guess we’re starting now. In the last week, I’ve spoken to Rolling Stone, Vanity Fair, and Premiere. The long-lead stuff is under way, so that’s always a positive sign.

I’ve also seen a teaser poster that will be out fairly soon. It’s simple but smooth. I like it.

And, yes - Alanis did record an excellent song for the end credits and soundtrack. It’s beautiful, moving, powerful, and some of her best work to date - the perfect way to end the flick.

We’re done with our initial six episodes of the animated series. We’ll be recording the last one Monday in NYC, and that’ll be that for a few months. They’re really, really funny, and I should have a sampling of the artwork to throw up here to show you soon, including a sweet new menu page with artwork by our series director, Chris Bailey (featuring Jay and Silent Bob). Look for it soon, as well as a redesign of the site in general (courtesy of our own Ming), with the new office tour, and the long-awaited ‘Dogma’ section too.

Two more months ’til we get Harley Baptised (Catholic, of course); three more months ’til the world sees what a non-issue ‘Dogma’ really is; seven more months ’til the animated series; and one more year until I’m thirty.

And I’d like to point out that six years ago, me and Mosier had just pretty much finished the editing and sound mixing on ‘Clerks’. Back then, there was no board, no wife, no family - none of what exists today except a couple of guys who wanted to make flicks - one of whom went to church every Sunday.

Speaking of which, I spoke to my priest about the brouhaha surrounding the flick. He said he didn’t hear about it, except for the occasional parishoner waving a petition in his face, asking him to post it in the church - his response to which was quite nice, I thought: the diocese and the Vatican itself has said nothing about the flick. Until they do (which he feels they won’t), he wasn’t going to use the pulpit to campaign against something he knows nothing about. I’m going to show him the flick soon. I’ll let you know what he thinks of it.

That’s important to remember during all this. Sometimes on this board and other places on the ‘net, I read misdirected ire that’s focused on Catholics for protesting this flick. It’s not true - the Catholic Church has taken no position on this film, and more than likely probably won’t. It’s one group that’s up-in-arms, and more to the point, one guy - who seems like a nice enough, good ol’ Irish Catholic fella, who doesn’t like the movie. I’ve had people not like the flicks I’ve done before, but usually, they’ve waited until they’ve seen it to make that call, and didn’t waste money better spent on more Christian goals than expensive one-page ads in the New York Times and booklets about how evil a movie I’ve made.

I want to start my own group called the Christian League. We don’t want your money, we don’t want you condemning anyone. All we want is people to be good to one another - maybe donate clothes and food to shelters once in awhile. We won’t be distributing flyers or making speeches; we’ll just be quietly doing, calling no attention to ourselves. We’ll have no insignia or masthead that promotes violence, like that sword the Catholic League puts on everything (for Jesus’ thoughts on swords, see the New Testament - he mentioned something about swords when he was arrested in the Garden, after the over-zealous Peter cut off someone’s ear off); in fact, we’ll have no stationary or website to update you on who we’re attacking, because we won’t be attacking people. We’ll just be doing what Christ asked us to do - loving God with our whole heart, mind, and soul, and loving our neighbor as we love ourselves.

That and making movies that contain tastefully questionable, but hardly sinful dick and fart jokes. Why? Because we love them dick and fart jokes; love ‘em.